loco_moco's Blog

... but this all gets so goofy, I think we can forget the cigar and just grab a spliff instead.

And no, it hasn't got a blessed thing to do with Bill Clinton (whew!)

Which of you caught the tidbit in yesterday's WaPo stating that the Catholic Church is concerned about ticket scalping for the Pope's stadium extravaganza?  So concerned, in fact, that they've barcoded the seat number onto each of the tickets. 

And if "the Archdiocese sees or hears of a ticket being scalped" on ebay, craigslist, etc., warns the good Monsignor, "the ticket will be cancelled".

Now, just how will the Archdiocese know which ticket to cancel?  Ah, there's the rub.  It appears Mother Mary will have to come to them, whispering words of wisdom as to precisely which seat is being hawked.  Because bar code readers don't work very well on craigslist ads, experts have informed me.

But wait!  There's more!  In fact, mind-boggling as this is, it isn't even the goofiness I'm referring to.

Rather, that honor must be bestowed on the "targeted ads" that have inundated the internet -- ads that are triggered by so-called keywords on the web page.

Evidently one of the keywords on that page was "scalped".  Because the ads were all about how I could regrow a new, lush mane to carpet my bald spots!

(They should really be pitching this to the Pope.  After all, he's way older than me, and he needs some hair to fasten his funny hat to.  Baldness would be an occupational hazard for him, because then his only recourse would be to glue his hat to his scalp with doublestick tape or bubble gum.)

If it gets any goofier than this, I'm probably gonna end up bald from tearing my hair out in despair, long before it falls out naturally.  But I guess I should be counting my blessings that at least there weren't any ads for tomahawks.