ReportFromTheFront's Blog

             For decades, it has been the position of the scientific community that there are two things that separate man from the rest of the animal world and make him unique: the ability to laugh and a sense of self awareness

            I would like to add a third distinction: The ability to be incredibly stupid and live to tell about it. You see, animals in the wild can’t afford to be stupid. If they let their guard down even for a moment, chances are they’ll end up as some other animal’s dinner.

            Mankind on the other hand, is unique in that we alone have the ability to do incredibly moronic things and survive despite our best efforts to the contrary.

            Don’t believe me? Well, sit back and read about these fine examples of God’s handiwork and their well documented escapades:

            Two years ago, a Japanese woman paid a man the equivalent of $10,000US to murder her husband. When the hit man failed to perform and decided to keep the money, she called the police to report a robbery.

            In 1889, a baseball player played with shotgun shells in his pockets. While he was batting, a wild pitch hit him in the leg and his pants exploded.

            An Arizona man accidentally shot himself in the leg while hunting. In order to call for help, he fired off his rifle and shot himself in the other leg.

            A farmer in Uruguay tried to perform some self-dentistry by shooting a painful toothache with his pistol. Not only was he able to extract the painful tooth, he also blew out his jaw.

            A movie-theatre manager in Seoul, South Korea found that “The Sound of Music” ran entirely too long. He fixed the problem with some clever editing that never occurred to the director of the award winning musical: He cut out the songs.

            And the award for surviving complete stupidity goes to:

            The man in Clermont, France who blew up his house with a washing machine. It seems that the Monsieur was trying to remove a grease stain from a shirt by adding a cup of gasoline to the wash along with the detergent. When the machine changed cycles, a spark ignited the gas and blew out the first floor of his home, knocking him unconscious.

            “I feel a bit stupid,” the man admitted later.