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Obama's Hillbilly Half-Brother Threatening To Derail Campaign

Cooter Obama welcomes his brother's supporters with a jug of "white lightning" before whipping up a steaming vat of flat-possum stew.

BOONEVILLE, KY—Barack Obama's once-commanding lead in the polls slipped to two points Monday, continuing a month-long slide that many credit to the recent appearance of the Democratic candidate's heretofore unknown half-brother, Cooter Obama.

Long kept a family secret, the overalls-clad, straw-chewing Kentuckian first entered the public spotlight in July, when he drove his 1982 Ford flatbed pickup through the press corps at an Obama rally in order to inform his brother that he caught the skunk that had been living under his front porch. According to witnesses, Cooter's skunk proceeded to spray Washington Post political reporter Michael D. Shear in the face.

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Cooter Obama attempted to pay for damages to the Capitol lawn with homemade jerky.

"Sorry 'bout that, mister! Some tomater juice'll take care of the stank," Cooter said as his mortified younger brother led him off the stage. "Shoot, Barack, you didn't tell me you was runnin' for president!"

Since Cooter's emergence on the national scene, the Obama campaign has downplayed the brothers' relationship. A statement issued last week by Obama's top adviser, David Axelrod, claimed that the two lived together only for a brief period in 1981, shortly before Barack left to attend Columbia University and Cooter had to drop out of chicken-killing school because an air conditioner fell on his head.

Nonetheless, political experts said Cooter's increased visibility in recent weeks has hurt Obama's polling among urban, upper-middle-class, non-straw-hat-wearing voters. The Obama camp has scrambled to control the damage caused by Cooter's penchants for loudly practicing his banjo during Obama's speeches, repeatedly referring to Barack by his childhood nickname, "Ol' Jelly Legs," and chasing his troublemaking pig, Mbogo, in the nude in the background of Obama's CNN interview on the importance of education.

The problem came to a head last week, advisers said, when Cooter arrived unannounced at a $100-a-plate fundraiser, slipped past security, and proffered a jug of moonshine to the high-society donors, claiming it would "straighten their curlies." In addition, dozens of would-be attendees at a Cedar Rapids, IA town-hall meeting Sunday were turned away at the door by the elder Obama, who was sitting at the entrance in a rocking chair and brandishing a double-barreled shotgun.

"What Sen. Obama's half-brother meant to communicate was that he was pleased that the candidate's message of change is fostering vigorous dialogue," Obama campaign spokesman Bill Burton said following the incident. "In no way was his proposal to 'fill y'all's backsides with rock salt' intended to be taken in any other way."

In the past two weeks, Obama has lost support from such groups as PETA, which withdrew its endorsement when Cooter punched a swan in the face, claiming it was "one of them mean ones"; the Clean Energy Group, which protested Cooter's recent attempt to fry a squirrel in a flaming 20-gallon barrel of diesel fuel; and Sen. John Kerry (D-MA), whom Cooter mistook for an outhouse Monday and urinated on for 35 seconds.

"I thought we would be able to escape controversy by leaving the country for a week and visiting Iraq and Europe," an unnamed source in the Obama camp told reporters. "Little did we know that Cooter would command just as much attention back home by getting drunk with the Russian ambassador, lighting off fireworks, and crashing Obama's campaign limo into a creek in the Ozark Mountains."

Despite the setbacks he has caused, Cooter has secured a small but devoted following, and has occasionally managed to reflect well on the campaign. At a speaking engagement to which Obama arrived two hours late, Cooter kept the crowd's spirits up by breaking out a washtub string bass and a washboard and holding an impromptu hoedown.

Although his primary focus has been to support his brother, Cooter Obama said he is not without political aspirations of his own.

"Shoot, I'm helpin' because I love my brother," Cooter said. "Maybe if he gets elected he can make me Secretary of Moonshine. Course, that don't mean I ain't votin' for the other fella. Ol' Jelly Legs wants to take my guns away."

New 'Anti-Abortion Pill' Kills Mother, Leaves Fetus AliveNEW YORK—Pro-life advocates celebrated approval of the new anti-abortion drug UR-86 by the Food and Drug Administration Tuesday, calling it a "safe and effective method" for terminating pregnant women while leaving their unborn children unharmed. Enlarge Image

A doctor explains to an expectant mother how her organs will slowly dissolve with the new pill.

Pfizer, manufacturer of UR-86—dubbed the "last-morning-ever pill"—said the drug is intended only for occasions when the mind-set or politics of the mother threaten the life of the fetus.

"This drug is designed for extreme cases in which the mother cannot or should not be saved, or when her health has been placed before that of her unborn child," Pfizer spokesman Anthony Wright said.

The orally ingested drug first tests for the presence of a fetus. If the outcome is positive, a near-lethal dose of barbiturates is released, which induces a coma in the expectant mother until the child is born, at which point a second, fatal dose is released.

The FDA's approval came after months of clinical trials firmly established that the fetus would be nourished and protected in the womb of the near-deceased UR-86 user.

Gender-equality advocates praised the introduction of the drug, calling it an "innovative solution" to the highly polarizing national abortion debate.

"This is a step forward for equality," men's rights activist Charles Hackett said. "For too long, women have had an unfair advantage in the outcome of a pregnancy. UR-86 levels the playing field for husbands and boyfriends across America."

Pro-life advocates, many of whom had petitioned the FDA to approve UR-86 while the drug was still in the research-and-development stage, also reacted warmly to the FDA's decision. Randall Terry, founder of Operation Rescue, praised the new pharmaceutical for its potential use in cases of rape and incest, saying it could help end the shame and humiliation of such trauma while saving the life of the fetus.

"Victims of sexual assault can feel trapped, like they've got nowhere to turn," Terry said. "Now, they can solve their deep, internal problems once and for all, without unfairly condemning their children."

Yet critics say UR-86's prescription-only status and the fact that most health insurance plans do not cover the drug limit its effectiveness, as it is not available to those who need it most.

"If people can't afford the drug or get it prescribed on short notice, they're not going to have enough time to act, especially when their wives want to end the pregnancy fast," men's issues commentator Stan Dynes said. "UR-86 should be made available over the counter as soon as possible. It's the husband's right to choose if this drug is right for him, and neither the government nor the medical elite should get in the way of that decision."

Pfizer trials showed that UR-86 can do nothing for the fetus if an abortion procedure is performed. "If the mother is administered the pill the morning after an abortion, the fetus cannot be revived because it won't be there," Pfizer's Wright said. "It will still terminate the mother, though."

Conversely, some lawmakers are uneasy with the concept of ready access to the anti-abortion pill.

Tuesday night, South Dakota legislators introduced a bill to impose a five-day waiting period for teenage girls and women before they can buy the pill, claiming its use does not adequately safeguard the lifestyle of the father, the laundry of the father, or the favorite meals of the father. The legislators cited Pfizer's own published list of side effects of UR-86, which include domestic messiness, already-born-child neglect, and inadequate stocking of the fridge.

Still, Pfizer anticipates not only that the drug will be popular with husbands, but also that, once available over the counter, UR-86 will likely find a large consumer base in mothers-in-law, downstairs neighbors, and extramarital lovers.

BEIJING—Several hours before the opening ceremony Thursday, ambitious
Chinese street vendors obtained bootleg copies of the complete 2008
Beijing Olympics coverage, pressed DVD copies of the footage, and sold
DVDs for five to seven dollars apiece from blankets spread out on the
sidewalk. "I was really surprised that I was able to get a hold of this
so early, especially with all the reports that the Chinese were going
to prevent the results from being leaked," said San Francisco resident
Todd Saunders. "The footage was pretty grainy and you could tell they
just shot it off of a screen with a camcorder, but for the price I
thought it was worth it." Although Saunders said he was surprised to
find himself tearing up while watching the closing ceremony, he
admitted that the performance dedicated to the athletes tragically lost
to Turkish terrorism on days three through five was quite touching.

Panasonic Introduces Portable 500-Disc Changer To Compete Against iPod

Grand Theft Auto IV Hits Stores

The latest installment of Rockstar Games' popular Grand Theft Auto franchise hit stores this week. What are some of the new features?

-Special cheat code allows players to experience legal consequences of their actions

-One of the game's sponsors is Jergens, so your character suffers from dry skin and must remember to always keep his hands moist

-Every other mission is to kill a congressman who condemned the game's three previous versions

-After 10 hours of continuous game play, a subliminal message flashes on the screen telling you to try playing the game in real life

-You have the choice to stay in Liberty City or drive to the suburbs of New Jersey, where you can earn a degree or learn a trade

-Though it doesn't affect the game at all, your character is severely afraid of spiders

-Elfin magic users now have access to Potion Shoppe

-You can steal cars

New 'X-Files' Movie Opens

Six years after it went off the air, The X-Files is back in a new feature-length film titled The X-Files: I Want To Believe. What is in store for audiences?

A lengthy subplot that explains in detail why Mulder and Scully's hairstyles have changed

Mulder is heavily criticized by his FBI superiors for using "circa 1995" tactics for investigating paranormal phenomena

Composer Mark Snow has transposed the franchise's haunting piano line from the key of A minor to the even creepier key of A-flat minor

Child who says "I made this!" during Ten Thirteen Productions bumper revealed to be an extraterrestrial

Story updated with single iPod reference

Mulder, Scully, and their new alien friend, Xeeblop, struggle against all odds to make it to the top of the go-karting circuit

In an attempt to diffuse the sexual tension, Mulder exposes himself constantly throughout the movie

Turns out government is not to blame for anything; it was just a big misunderstanding

Giuliani Spotted Sleeping On New York City Subway

July 25, 2008

NEW YORK—According to witnesses, former New York City mayor and one-time favorite for the Republican presidential nomination Rudolph Giuliani was seen slumped over and asleep on the Coney Island-bound F train late Tuesday night, as well as on the return Queens-bound F train early Wednesday morning.

Giuliani, once a beloved New York figure who earned the nickname "America's Mayor," was wearing a faded New York Yankees jacket and a dirty FDNY cap pulled down over his eyes.

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Giuliani does not notice onlookers.

"Everyone was sitting on the opposite side of the train because there was a real bad smell coming from his side," said passenger Melissa Humber, who witnessed Giuliani lying across three seats and using a rolled-up New York Post as a pillow. "He seemed to jolt awake when a homeless guy started ranting about 9/11, but then he just sighed and went back to sleep." Giuliani was last spotted shaving in a New York Public Library bathroom.

Firefighters Turned Away From Exclusive Nightclub Blaze

July 22, 2008 |

DETROIT—After responding to a fire at elite nightclub Tech-Noir, all 20 members of Ladder Company 24 were denied entrance and forced to stand behind the velvet rope guarding the A-list inferno as it raged on well into early Sunday morning. "There was no way I could let them in dressed like that," said bouncer Ken Hess, who asked emergency personnel to step aside while he allowed a group of good-looking, scantily clad women directly into the blaze. "If they had brought some ladies with them, then maybe. But we have to maintain some standards here." While the firefighters were reportedly saddened by the sight of 63 people burning to death, on the way back to the firehouse they agreed the club was probably just full of stuck-up women anyway.

Report: Al-Qaeda Allegedly Engaging In Telemarketing

July 24, 2008

WASHINGTON, DC—In a chilling development, the CIA announced Monday that it has acquired a videotape showing suspected al-Qaeda operatives engaging in what appears to be telemarketing.

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Ayman al-Zawahiri, Osama bin Laden's second-in-command, makes what appear to be cold calls from an undisclosed location in Afghanistan.

"This video, obtained from a credible third-party source, features grainy footage of a group of men strongly believed to be al-Qaeda members making phone solicitations for vacation-home rentals, long-distance phone service, magazine subscriptions, and a vast array of other products and services," CIA Director Michael Hayden said at a press conference. "Many of these calls have occurred, unthinkably, during the dinner hour."

Added Hayden: "We had known about al-Qaeda's practice of raising money through drug trafficking and money laundering, but it seems the full scope of their depravity had barely been imagined."

The video is not the only evidence of telemarketing activity within al-Qaeda. According to Hayden, CIA agents tracking the terrorist organization over the past 12 months made steady progress infiltrating its communications network, eventually gaining access to transmissions to and from al-Qaeda operatives. These transmissions included a number of telemarketing "cold calls" to randomly chosen U.S. citizens.

Last December, during a sweep of caves near the Afghan-Pakistani border, Maj. Gen. Dan K. McNeill, leader of U.S. forces in Afghanistan, unearthed further evidence corroborating the phone-solicitation theory. Inside one cave, McNeill and his troops found a bank of empty cubicles with individual phone lines, a bullhorn, and 10 desktop bells, commonly rung in the event of a "sale."

"I couldn't believe what I saw," said McNeill, who also discovered bomb-making instructions and detailed maps of U.S. landmarks in the cave. "On top of all the destruction these people had already unleashed, plans were underway to harass the American people with a merciless assault of offers for everything from discounts on home DSL lines to pre-approved, low-interest credit cards."

For all the evidence collected by the CIA, the "smoking gun" in the investigation may turn out to be an alleged Osama bin Laden motivational videotape, currently in the possession of CNN. The controversial tape, which has never aired on the cable network, is rumored to feature bin Laden urging his followers to think positive and believe in the quality of the product they are pitching, closing on the grim slogan "Smile And Dial."

Among the victims of al-Qaeda's telemarketing efforts is Coral Gables, FL, retiree Bernice Parks, who last Friday spent nearly 45 minutes trying to say no to a pushy aluminum-siding salesman who identified himself only as "Mohammed," only to give in and order full siding for her home. It is believed that the $3,000 charged to Parks' credit card—an amount she thought to be "a rock-bottom value, especially compared to what big companies like Sears charge"—was funneled through al-Qaeda's extensive siding cartel.

Nearly all of the $3,000 became al-Qaeda profit after what Parks described as "worn, faded siding that seemed to have been removed from another house" was hastily installed by three Middle-Eastern-looking men in an unmarked van.

"These evil people are preying on bored receptionists, gullible housewives, and defenseless seniors like me," Parks said. "At home, at work... they simply do not care."

In spite of the mounting evidence, al-Qaeda leaders detained in Guantanamo Bay continue to deny that their group is involved in any over-the-phone solicitation.

Hubble Kaleidoscope Finds Evidence Of Space Looking All Crazy

July 16, 2008 | Issue 44•29

BALTIMORE—Astronomers analyzing the first images captured by the new Hubble Space Kaleidoscope, which went online Tuesday, announced that they've acquired the first concrete evidence that the universe is in a constant state of total weirdness.

"With their unprecedented resolution, the latest images from the new kaleidoscope reveal that space, once thought to be isotropic, is actually continuously expanding, unfolding, and rearranging in a series of freaky patterns," said astronomer Douglas Stetler, head of the Space Kaleidoscope Science Institute in Baltimore. "It's an exciting time for the field of astrokaleidoscopics, or anyone interested in the vast, wacked-out nature of space."

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Hubble Kaleidoscope

At $200 billion, the HSK, as scientists designate it, is the most expensive kaleidoscope ever built. Orbiting 300 miles above the Earth, the high-powered, 12-ton optical device has revealed unexpected discoveries at the farthest reaches of the universe, including a multitude of brilliantly colored interlocking and rotating diamond things never before observed by scientists.

HSK features three fine-guidance optical control sensors, a wide field and planetary camera, a faint object spectrograph, and three primary rectangular plane mirrors inside a rotating 30-meter titanium tube. The object chamber, located on the end that gathers and focuses incoming light from the visible part of the electromagnetic spectrum as well as the infrared and ultraviolet continua, is filled with 10,000 pounds of marbles, costume jewelry, beads, and the largest bits of colored glass ever produced.

"This new data will forever change how we look at the cosmos," said Stetler, who admitted he was "amazed" to learn that all galaxies rotate in a counterclockwise direction and never look the same way twice. "Before this, we couldn't even see the Lagoon Nebula, but now we are capable of detecting up to 254 constantly changing fractal versions of it at once. The further we probe the depths of space, the better we might understand just how vastly bonkers it looks."

Construction of the Hubble Space Kaleidoscope involved incredible technical challenges. According to NASA head engineer Nathan Howard, assembling components for the object chamber was particularly exacting, since it was necessary to create baubles that would still remain pretty despite the harsh environment of space. The project also faced controversy over fears that the device would be unable to record the continuously changing symmetrical forms of solar masses, after early calculations predicted that the $898 million in trinkets would not tumble properly in a zero-gravity environment.

"Despite those setbacks, the project is an unqualified success," Howard said. "The completed Hubble Kaleidoscope allows researchers to view the sharpest, most refracted displays of light, color, and shape to date."

Looking at a kaleidoscopic image of a dwarf star, Howard added, "Oooooo!"

Unlike the Hubble Telescope, which has allowed astronomers to view remote objects millions of light years away, the orbital kaleidoscopic observatory has taken humankind's knowledge of the cosmos one step further: Scientists now have access to clear images of the multicolored polygons and sparkling glitter now believed to cover up to 99.999 percent of the known universe.

The new data have challenged nearly every assumption about astrophysical phenomena.

"When we trained the powerful kaleidoscope lens on the massive eye of Jupiter, we expected to see a swirling behemoth of red and orange gas," said Dr. Mae Ling-Turlington, who works at the observatory. "What we found instead was a dazzling hexagonal array of variegated prismatic configurations, changing our very understanding of the atmospheric patterns there on the solar system's spikiest-looking planet."

Their findings are so startling, in fact, that kaleidoscopists are calling for standard models of the structure of the universe to be revamped. According to the new data, the so-called asteroid "belt" is actually an asteroid squiggle; and Mars is only red "some of the time," vacillating between purplish-blue, orange, and turquoise with specks of green as it moves along its six separate orbits around the sun.

Despite excitement over the discovery that space is all crazy-looking, a number of legislators have threatened to cut funding for NASA's kaleidoscopic program. An outspoken critic of the agency, Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME) said she hopes NASA scientists don't just use the kaleidoscope a few times and then lose interest and never touch it again, like they did with the Brookhaven Neutrino Spirograph, Fermilab's Particle Slingshot, and the Very Large Slip 'n Slide Array in New Mexico.

Fat Guy Mistakenly Thought Of As Strong

July 16, 2008

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL—Due to his sheer mass, Derek "Moose" Glass, 26, is considered by his friends and relatives to be "stronger than an ox," when in actuality the 5-foot-7, 275-pound bartender is just fat.

"I bet that guy can lift that desk over his head," friend Hank Ebbert, 27, said of Glass, who at that moment was lying on his couch finishing his fifth bag of Combos while watching Spike TV's Pros Vs. Joes. "Man, I bounced right off of Moose during a collision at home plate last summer. That guy is solid muscle after you get past all that [fat]."

Ebbert went on to say that Glass was deceptively intelligent, though, in fact, the morbidly obese Glass has a below-average IQ, and is just quiet.

Israel, Palestine Now Fighting Over Cemetery Space

July 21, 2008 | Issue 44•30

Israeli tanks move in to protect the country's dead settlers.

JERUSALEM—After decades of bitter conflict and the loss of thousands of innocent lives, Israeli and Palestinian forces clashed once again this week, with each side laying claim to a five-mile stretch of desperately needed cemetery space.

Fighting over the disputed territory, which is located on the easternmost border of the Gaza Strip, has thus far resulted in more than four dozen casualties. According to sources, the swath of cemetery space is being called the rightful burial home of both the Israeli and Palestinian people.

"Israel has always been the deathplace of the Jews," said Moshe Abrahim, a religion professor at Bar-Ilan University. "My father was killed here, and his father and mother, and both of his uncles before him were killed here. To have this area occupied by Palestinian bodies is an insult to our great history."

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An Israeli soldier looks out over a field of disputed holes.

Added Abrahim, "I'd sooner die than give up my God-given grave."

The first episodes of violence over the narrow strip of cemetery began early Monday morning when a Palestinian suicide bomber detonated himself outside of a Jewish mausoleum, leaving one dead and outraging hundreds. In response, Israel launched a series of swift air strikes, destroying six Palestinian funeral homes and killing an estimated 15 pallbearers.

Unfazed by the counterattack, Islamic extremists vowed never to surrender, and said they would continue to perish "for as long as it takes."

"So many martyrs for almighty Allah and His blessed prophet Mohammed have sacrificed their lives so that we might someday lose ours," said Ali Akhtar, leader of the terrorist organization known as Islam's Undertakers. "Palestine will not rest until each and every one of its sons has a place beneath this glorious land. Our day of victory is at hand!"

Since Monday's attack, violence has erupted across the disputed region, with Islamic radicals throwing rocks and launching mortar fire at approaching Jewish hearses. Fearing that the prized graveyard would be lost to a surge of Palestinian bodies, Israel reportedly took action, sealing 500 soldiers inside military coffins and placing them in strategic tombs.

Israeli troops have been ordered to stand their ground and remain interred indefinitely.

In a press conference Wednesday, Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said that the state of Israel was doing everything in its power to prevent Palestinians from being buried inside the cemetery, including setting up security checkpoints to inspect suspicious vehicles for shovels, tombstones, and embalming fluid.

Olmert, however, would not respond to questions about whether Israel had overstepped its boundaries during an incident earlier this week that saw four Palestinian octogenarians detained on suspicion of being "on the brink of death."

As is often the case in the region, innocent civilians from both sides have borne the brunt of the fighting. Asalaa Bahiya—a recently dead Palestinian woman—was repeatedly fired upon by Israeli soldiers after her body was spotted entering the disputed cemetery. In addition, a young Israeli cadaver was captured by Islamic militants, blindfolded, and dragged from a nearby Jerusalem morgue.

"How could God have allowed this to happen?" said Yitzchak Meltzer, a grieving Tel Aviv resident who watched helplessly as his firstborn son was driven from his grave by extremists. "To have to rebury your own child—it's a parent's worst nightmare come true."

Though some hold out hope for the day when Israeli and Palestinian citizens are buried side by side in peace and harmony, all attempts to bring the conflict to a close have so far failed. A United States–sponsored peace plan that proposed dividing the cemetery space directly in half was dismissed as unjust by both sides, with each claiming it was entitled to the entire graveyard. Likewise, a compromise solution to cremate all deceased citizens was rejected by Israel as "barbaric."

With bodies mounting on both sides, members of the ruling Hamas Party released a statement Monday suggesting that the violence could continue for years to come.

"As long as Israelis continue to age, decline in vigor and strength, and ultimately pass away, never will their nation know the meaning of peace," the statement read in part. "Either they stop dying at once, or prepare to suffer the consequences."

Rielle Hunter and John Edwards: Sex Scandal and Love Child Accusations Return

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By Karen Diaz
Jul 24, 2008  
How difficult would it be to figure out if Rielle Hunter and John Edwards were in the Beverly Hills Hotel on Monday?  The media that favors Edwards has largely ignored the report and the story that was published by the National Enquirer complete with names and times that the weekly magazine confronted the former US Senator and two-time failed presidential candidate.
Rielle Hunter and John Edwards: Sex Scandal and Love Child Accusations Return
The story has some humor to it as the magazine claims that Edwards literally ran away from them as they tried to confront him in the early morning hours as to why he was in the same hotel as Rielle Hunter.  Wouldn't there be surveillance video of all of this and how hard would it be to acquire that video?  According to an earlier report from The Enquirer, Edwards had a fling with this woman and the magazine claims there is a love child that has now been born.

***

Edwards was John Kerry's vive presidential nominee in 2004 and now he says he would again consider it for 2008.  With all of that going on one would think that some of the major media in Los Angeles might slip over to the Beverly Hilton and try to find out exactly what went on there that night.  If it were Britney Spears or Angelina Jolie they would have dispatched reporters immediately.

The Enquirer seems to update its story nearly every day and they now have the make and model of the car that Edwards allegedly arrived in to the hotel.  They also name the driver.  So where is the mainstream media and why wouldn't they look into this?  Simple, Edwards is a liberal Democrat.  Will Obama tap the two-time failed presidential candidate for his veep?

Rielle Hunter Blackout

When is a bombshell not a bombshell? When it makes a prominent Democrat look bad.

Anyone who doesn't rely on the MSM for news knows by now that John Edwards, who made a big deal about his loyalty to his cancer-stricken wife during his failed presidential campaign, was actually cheating on her and presiding over an elaborate cover-up. He even has a love child with the radiant Rielle Hunter:

There are at least 10 eyewitnesses to corroborate the story of his getting caught with his pants down, which would have resulted in immediate screams of "I'll sue!" from the Breck Girl if it weren't completely true.

Yet Silky Pony has been considered a leading candidate for the hollow Obamessiah's VP, so the MSM is obediently silent. Slate reports on the lack of reporting:

—The New York Times doesn't tell you what happened yesterday. —The print edition of the Washington Post doesn't tell you what happened yesterday. —Newsweek doesn't tell you what happened yesterday. —Time doesn't tell you what happened yesterday. —Katie Couric didn't tell you what happened yesterday. —Brian Williams didn't tell you what happened yesterday. —Charlie Gibson didn't tell you what happened yesterday. […] Has the gap between what the MSM lets you know and what happened — and what you can easily find out happened — ever been greater? …

The silver lining to the absurd and potentially catastrophic Obama campaign: when it's finally over, no one will ever take the establishment media seriously again.

On a tip from Burning Hot.

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/new_wearable_fee
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